Thursday, August 31, 2006

My early afternoon conversation with a female Geo Prizm after performing surgery on a non-gendered Nissan Sentra:

She: I can't believe you removed those door panels without any anesthetic. I couldn't bear to watch.

Me: Hey, it wasn't like the key was in the ignition. Besides, I was gentle.

She: Hmph. All I know is that if you try that on me, I'm slamming my door on your hand.

She: ...

She: Why don't you ever buy me new mirrors?

Me: Cause you don't need new mirrors.

She: But you never buy me new anything!

She: ...

Me: How about I buy you a round of 10W-40?

She: ... you're just looking for an excuse to get under my hood.

*Later, at the gas station*

She: You know, for being non-gendered, that Sentra had a nice trunk.

Me: Sheesh, I guess it's true, you're all just three gallons of 87 octane away from...
Is it just me, or is the fact that when you use Google Maps to 'search for a business', the example given is "e.g., poughkeepsie" [sic], inherently funny?

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

An Excercise in Creative Punctuation
Excercise 1: My Thoughts At Around Noon Today While Leaving the House

Me: $@%^#$^% #$%@##* holy @#$%@ mother of @#!%#%& my #$^#$%& @##%!& !$@^$ finger I #$^%$ need some @#@#$ #$%#*& !%*@& ice this $@%^@@%* $@$#$#% instant! #$&&#$&!!!!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Oh, and just a reassurance to those readers who weren't at Saturday night's birthday party... my previous entry is not the first chapter in an upcoming 'X-Men' slash fanfiction. So, you know, we haven't gone there yet.
A Ten-minute Excercise in Deliberate Obsfucation:

They gathered around him like a cuddle of mewling kittens, yet he knew under the veneer of cocktail dresses and crantinis lurked a pack of vicious hyenas.

I'm sure it's adorable, just show us.

I heard that it can grow to six times the size.

Please, won't you at least show me?

Their eyelids fluttering, with pouting lips and voices that had the faintest hint of whine, it was difficult to resist this frontal assault of feminine wiles. He stood firm however, and after five minutes the mob had dispersed to other conversations.

Of course, by this point everyone who had not already passed out had heard, and all the gentlemen filtered over.

Six times the size eh?

Yeah, but I heard it takes two hours.

Two hours, what's the use of that?

The guffaws and back-slapping continued while he stood unshakable.

They would not see her this night.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Well, it would appear that I'm now a company man, so I'm just gonna sit back here and wait for my gold watch...

Or not...

Anyhow, not as a result, but with strangely serendipidous timing, I bought my sister a new mp3 player. All I can say is... BUY CREATIVE! DON'T BUY A POD! LIVE YOUR OWN DANG LIFE AND NOT STEVE JOBS' ILIFE!


Yeah, I think creative products are overall a much better value. This 3rd(?) generation zen is really nice compared to my 1.5th or 2nd generation zen (which was already really nice). It's actually got size and weight on par with the modern ipods, but in addition boasts an FM tuner and voice recording capability built into the unit. I'd get another one for myself, but 1) my exisiting zen nomad II works fine, and B) I'm waiting for the Vision:Ms to come down in price.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

As one might surmise from my previous entry, I spent the weekend with my cousins (and the rest of the extended family -- dad's side). It was nice to see everyone... it was also... interesting... somewhat melancholy, but still fun, to see my second cousins (ie. the children of those two cousins of mine who are married) in the northwoods environment I remember from the reunions we had when I was a kid. On the dock, wading in the lake, poking at frogs and lily-pads... of course, all the cousins are now too sophisticated and mature for such pursuits, so we spent the evenings at the bar (again, see previous entry)

I wondered what memories my little second cousins might take from the weekend. I know I have memories of visiting the northwoods when I was about six years old, but only one of them is that old. I suppose if anything at all survives in their minds, it will be the vaguest of impressions... not even visual, and certainly not verbal, but merely... a feeling? A warming of the heart?

Oh yes, and there were even more flying monkies than I usually see during my weekends, so you know it was a good time.
Pslam 17:28 as it would be had Solomon not been king of ancient Isreal in Jerusalem but instead been a family member at my family reunion this past weekend:

Even a fool is thought wise if he does not board a boat at mid-night while drunk,

and discerning if he refuses hard drink after six mugs of ale.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Excerpt from Descartes' Principia Bowlosophiae:

Cogito ergo split.

I'm out for the weekend, recuperating with family. Thank goodness I get to see my sister.


Thursday, August 03, 2006

Thought that I'd sit and ponder this evening for a while and come up with something clever and related to music or leasing to say but instead I thought it would be best to just go with raw thoughts, while the whole spectrum of the night is still fresh.

Ozma played a set that was enjoyable despite me having no idea who they were, or having ever heard any of their songs before (Tetris theme song excepted). The synth level could have been turned up a bit an suited me just fine, but the real glaring deficiency in their music was the lack of female vocals. The song I enjoyed the most was one where Rachel Haden of the Rentals got on stage and sang a two part with the bass player.... with consistent female vocals, they could fit the hole in my musical tastes left by the Anniversary's unfortunate demise.

The Rentals themselves... fan-tas-tic!
I actually had some doubts coming about what their live show would be like... no doubts at all now, they were great, it was a great show. Everyone of them on stage was a consumate musician, they obviously loved their work, and their enjoyment was infectious. They opened with an instumental intro, complete with some nice looped viola and then proceeded right into 'Move On', which is certainly the best song I could imagine them using to open a show. They covered both their albums, including my favorite song, 'Keep Sleeping', and even played a couple of unreleased tunes. To me, all of their songs sounded new, without losing their comfortable familiarity. It was a great show.

The venue was great too, although if you go there and want to get intoxicated, be prepared to drop a c-note on liquor.

Merci a Michelle pour m'a accompagné, I probably would have missed this wonderful show otherwise...

And to my readership on the west coast... get your tickets for the last show of their tour at house of blues in Anaheim! You will not regret it, even if you're not a fan of alt-new-wave, they're just that good.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Well, just goes to prove I should write things down when I first think of them. This article suggests that Hezb'allah is getting set up to be destroyed in detail in their fortified positions. In the first few days that the IDF went over the border, when word came about the elaborate fortifications that had evidently been constructed, I had very similar thoughts. My belief was that Hezb'allah would be compelled to stick close to their fortified enclaves or lose significant capital investment (in weapons and the fortifications themselves). Additionally I thought that Hizb'allah would mistake tenative-looking IDF fixing attacks for the real schwerpunckt, and would willingly engage in hopes of more battlefield propaganda.

I don't see how Hezb'allah can avoid destruction at this point, assuming Isreal maintains the political will to keep fighting as long as necessary. Of course, this leads one to conclude that either someone miscalculated, or Tehran is holding some trump card which justifies sloughing of Hezb'allah.